The Star

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Everyday Witch Tarot
I love the Star. She is just such a beautiful, positive card.  She is optimistic, she always hopes for the best and she has a sense of tranquillity.

The Star is confident, she approaches life with enthusiasm, and she is selfless. In every single card I have seen she is seen with one foot in water and one on land, suggesting she is a very grounded woman who is also very comfortable feeling and expressing her emotions.

Where the Hierophant makes me think of a religious tradition that I find oppressive, the Star talks to me of a spirituality expressed through the freedom to walk your own path. There is no dogma, only a quiet, calm strength and surety that she is following the right path for her.

The Star is a powerful, but actually quite straightforward card and so, for something a bit different, I have decided to include a Self-healing spread in this post using the Star as a significator. It has been a pretty deep reading that has touched on some real vulnerabilities for me, but I wanted to share it as I think that allowing yourself to be vulnerable is part of the emotional confidence of the Star that it is important to tap into.

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1 – The Moon – I have been betrayed pretty badly in the past by people I have trusted enough to be vulnerable with. I removed the mask I normally wear in the world, I let them see the real me and they used it to hurt me.

2 – King of Cups – I have been quite reserved with people and have been very controlled and deliberate when it comes to showing my emotions. I am not always honest about how I feel or my vulnerabilities and this keeps people at a “safe” distance.

3 – Nine of Swords – I worry, over think and obsess about nearly every interaction I have with others. I worry that I have been too vulnerable, I worry that I am not emotional enough, I worry that people think I am cold, I worry whether people really like me. I over analyse everything and my mind never seems to take a break. Simple conversations with people can leave me feeling exhausted.

4 – Five of Wands – Keeping people at a distance has meant I have had to learn to rely on myself, and I have become an incredibly strong woman. There is no challenge that can be thrown at me that I won’t somehow overcome.

5 – Nine of Cups – I need to find out what makes me happy and spend time doing it, I need to spend time with people who make me feel emotionally safe, and I need to be kinder to myself.

6 – Six of Wands – Self-healing can be approached just like any other challenge. It takes commitment and hard work but I can remove the emotional blocks if I want to.

GeekGirl Heather

xoxo

 

How Psychic Are You?

I have been trying to work on a blog post about The Star for a couple of days now but I thought it might be fun to have a go at another spread in the meantime. This one I personally didn’t take too seriously, but it all makes for good practice…

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1 – Knight of Swords – I over think everything, get way too logical and tend to be way too inside of my head. I’m trying to “learn” it rather than trusting my intuition and I am not giving myself time to “hear” myself properly.

2 – 7 of Wands – I need to not listen to how other people’s ability works, or how they learnt to improve it. Instead I need to find my own way, embrace it and stick to it, even if others may tell me my way is wrong.

3 – Queen of Pentacles – My ability is very grounded and earthy. I tend to pick up on the energies around me and it often appears that I am very shrewd when really I just “know” things. I can very quickly get to the root of a matter.

4 – 9 of Swords – Well that can’t be good!!! I am reading that I will, at least initially, find it very stressful, it will cause me a lot of worry and I will lose sleep. (Interestingly I am constantly exhausted at the moment so maybe that’s exactly what is happening?!) I will begin to obsess about gaining more knowledge and it will become my main focus (I wouldn’t say I am obsessed with Tarot at the moment, but it is not far off!) Eventually I will begin to understand my abilities more, I will have more control and things will start to look a little brighter.

5 – 3 of Pentacles – In a word, no! I am going to need support and reassurance from my close friends, especially ones on the same page as me, in order to grow in confidence.

6 – 8 of Swords – I will help empower people into finding solutions to situations/issues that they feel trapped in. 

7 – The High Priestess – A more developed intuition, confidence in my abilities, a lot more knowledge and, possibly, even a career as a psychic of some kind.

8 – 7 of Cups – I do have psychic ability and I can choose whether to develop it or not. Whatever I want to do with it is basically there for the taking, but only if I can focus and not scatter my energies about too much.

GeekGirl Heather

xoxo

 

 

Full Moon Tarot Spread

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As a pagan witch I like to try and do something at the full moon. Tarot won’t be the only thing I do tonight but I wanted to take a moment to share my spread with you. For some reason I really struggled with this reading and I had to refer back to my books quite a lot. I have been trying really hard to use my intuition more and more, but I think on this occasion the universe just wanted to remind me that it is ok to have a balance of both.

Anyway, on to the reading…

1- Six of Swords – I should let go of anything in my life that affects my tranquillity and peace of mind. It is time to leave any past issues where they belong, in the past, and move forward into a happier, brighter future. I will carry the lessons from the past with me, but they no longer need to control me or my behaviour.

2 – Knight of Pentacles – This card really sent me for a loop and I spent a long time trying to figure it out. All I came away with is that I should hold close to me the people in my life who are loyal, trustworthy, patient and hard-working.  (If anyone has a better interpretation I would really appreciate you sharing it!)

3 – Six of Cups – There is nothing big coming into my life in the immediate future but there will be lots of small moments that bring me a lot of joy.

4 – Seven of Wands – I feel as though I have to defend myself and the choices I make to others. Sometimes I feel like it is me vs. the world and, whilst I am on solid ground at the moment, there is enough opposition to push me over the edge if I let it.

5 – Page of Wands – I am naturally optimistic, creative and enthusiastic about life. I should share more of this side of myself with others.

6 – The Moon – As I continue to work with the tarot, and on this blog, my intuition and psychic ability (which is currently non-existent) will develop and get stronger. It will open up a path to me that I would never have considered otherwise.

7 – The Magician – I have the “power” within me to succeed at anything I put my mind to. I also need to work on my “witch stuff” more often as I don’t give it the focus that I should do.

If you had completely different ideas of how to interpret these cards please feel free to share in comments.

GeekGirl Heather

xoxo

The Hierophant

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Shadowscapes/Robin Wood/Everyday Witch

I have struggled for days to actually sit down and write something about this card. It is one of my least favourite in the whole deck, and I really didn’t want to post anything too negative. Avoidance was not really getting anything written though so I eventually had to admit defeat and just get on with it.

Out of the three pictures above, I have to admit I actually really like the Shadowscapes and Everyday Witch versions of this card. They both completely change the feel of the card for me, in very different ways, and both seem very warm and inviting. I love the grumpy old tree in Shadowscapes, with his long, established roots and his beautiful golden halo of leaves. I imagine that he is someone who will give you a hard time and make you work for it, but who has wisdom worth hearing.  The yoga instructor in the Everyday Witch card just makes me smile. I wanted to refer her to her as the hippy yoga instructor but I am not sure what gives me the impression she is a hippy. She just has that *air* about her. I imagine her to be kind, compassionate and patient.

The Robin Wood deck is more like the image I am used to seeing, however, and it just causes such a negative response from me. It is a card that is full of spiritual authority, spiritual hierarchy and orthodoxy. It is a card that screams conformity, convention and the establishment. This is not a warm spiritual teacher; he is cold, stern and unforgiving of any “sin”. I feel like he is judging my very soul, and I have been found wanting.

I am a pagan, and a very spiritual one at that. I believe that spiritual growth is important, and that it involves some amount of study. I believe in the power of prayer, I see the value in seeking the wise counsel of others. For me though, spirituality isn’t about convention and conformity, it is about finding your place in the world, embracing your true self and saying “this is me, take me or leave me.” I don’t want to fit in, I don’t want to just follow someone else’s tradition and spiritual practice.  I want to build a path that works for me and that, ultimately, provides me with spiritual nourishment, even if it does not fit with the established norm.

GeekGirl Heather

xoxo

Do You Have to “Believe in Tarot” to “Do Tarot”?

I don’t know about you, but one of the questions I most dread being asked is “what do you believe?”

I’m a pagan and quite often I call myself a witch, but not in public, and not without ambivalence (whole other blog post!)

I’m a polytheist, influenced by Buddhism, I love the God and the Goddess and my gods and goddesses, and I do fairies, angels, dragons, elementals, ritual, magic, healing, reiki, astrology, reincarnation, meditation journeys, spirit guides, messages from the Universe, and above all, I do Tarot.

I’m wide eyed and naïve, and I love pretty things, unicorns, rainbows, cute fluffy animals, dolls and spooky experiences. I like to be scared , I cry during films, and I like happy endings. I like to take a leap of fate, follow a whim, wish upon a star and see where it takes me. (The Fool)

I’m also agnostic. I believe that scientific evidence really is more reliable than anecdotal evidence – though science isn’t value-neutral either. I am a big fan of modern medicine and totally believe I would not be alive without it. I like to stay on the fence and weigh up the evidence. (Justice)

I’m political and pragmatic. I’m interested in what things do, in what a belief produces when you go with it. I see things in terms of psychology as a reflex action. I have difficulty “believing believing” in anything. I believe that knowledge is power and it’s all about what we do with it. I also believe there are a lot of snake oil salesmen out there. I’m a chatterbox and I love to debate and chew things over with people. (The Magician)

I like things I can see, hear, smell, feel, touch. I like things that are repeatable, falsifiable. I like things I can rely on not to slide away from me or trip me up. I like shared realities that are solid and comforting. I like maps, I like schedules, I like guidebooks. I like people who are loyal, honest and responsible. (The Emperor)

I’m a rebel and a dreamer. I like solitude and silences. I believe that truth is stranger than fiction, and that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in anybody’s philosophy. I don’t like being pinned down, and I like to speculate and leave things mysterious and open-ended. Sometimes, the truth is in the spaces between words, sometimes you just have to feel your way. (The High Priestess)

I’ve been hurt, I’ve got my issues, I’ve been disillusioned and I’ve seen that the world isn’t always kind. My love of nature and history has shown me that cruelty and pain are a part of the world we live in. Sometimes this is deliberate, sometimes not: as Dr Who puts it, “Hunger looks very much like evil from the wrong end of the cutlery.”

Life is full of bear-traps and injustice (The Devil) and our own vulnerabilities trip us up over and over again. In real life the good guys don’t always win (5 of Swords, 7 of Swords, 10 of Swords) and sometimes we just have to pick ourselves up and start again (The Tower)

So any knowledge framework has to, for me, be realistic about the parts of life that break my heart and make me angry. For this reason I also appreciate films that are sad and scary (but they have to have at least a hopeful ending – The Star) and I can have a bit of a dark sense of humour at times, because it helps me cope with my worst fears and sorrows.

I dream of a world where people are safe and nurtured and appreciated and loved for who they are. Where nobody is haunted by old guilt and shame, where people don’t have to compete or do each other down because there is room for everyone and our collective awesomeness just makes everyone shine brighter. Where we direct our energies into love for the broken world and into trying to make it just that bit more beautiful and kinder every day (The Empress)

I’m a bundle of contradictions; and so are loads of us. I’ve done the die-hard atheist thing; I was miserable. I’ve tried to do the simple faith method; I twisted my mind up in pretzels and got alienated from my own thinking. Neither are true to who I am.

And this is precisely why I love Tarot! Whatever I am feeling, whoever I am, whatever I am going through, there is a card or combination of cards in the Tarot that describes it. Tarot doesn’t assume that we are just one thing, that we are cardboard cut-outs. Tarot lets us be all that we are. Tarot helps us hold the contradictions in ourselves and our lives and find a balance between them (Temperance) Tarot also just works fine for those of us who work within this tension of belief and not-belief; it really isn’t necessary to have a firm position to benefit from using the cards.

How does it work? I don’t know. There are a lot of different possibilities. Let’s have a look at a few of them.

Well it could be that the cards, the deck do have a kind of magical power of their own; but most people who read them as Tarot see them as tools. That having been said, due to the different images and interpretations of the author and writer, different decks do produce very different effects when you work with them. It’s almost like they are personalities who “talk to you”. Work with them a lot, and you soon get a feeling for what deck you want to use for which reading; they aren’t interchangeable.

(That having been said, you don’t have to have any kind of deck to do Tarot; if you know the language, you could just scribble the names on paper and pick them out of a hat. If you don’t mind having the Minors and court cards only, you could just use regular playing cards. But where’s the fun in that?)

But generally speaking, as our good teacher and mentor Raven says, “YOU are your own tool”. The cards just help you access what is within you – your intuition. I believe we know far far more than we ever consciously admit to ourselves. We get so much in our head, thinking and thinking, but the images in Tarot can speak deeper and provide concepts and a framework through the spread that will help us talk it all through and find a way forward.

So are they just random, the cards that come up? Why do they often seem so uncannily appropriate, and why do the same cards keep appearing?

Killjoys will say that it’s just the patterns our brains are programmed to notice (oh, hush now!) Well it could be; but I like to think that the same energy patterns that affect the world from macrocosm to microcosm also can affect the fall of the the cards. Maybe these, along with our own energies and the pattern set up by the question we are concentrating on will attract the cards that most show what we need to know.

Likewise, if we believe in messages from the Otherworld, from our deities, guides, angels and ancestors, then there is no reason why they should not use the cards to tell us things. Possibly, they influence the fall of the cards – why not? Just because we can’t see how they would do it, doesn’t mean they can’t. The more I find out about science, the more reality is so weird that I’m happy to admit I’m confounded by it all.

But even if it is completely random, even if we are not tuning into anything except what is within our own minds – possibly influenced by other beings, possibly just contacting other parts of ourselves – that makes Tarot awesome enough. In our minds we have everything we’ve ever learned, felt and experienced.

All those amazing movies, comics, songs, books, TV shows? They are in there too! One really lovely thought about being a geek is that we get to carry our passions around inside us, always; they give us wisdom, and when something touches us in some way it sinks into our subconscious and ferments away happily, to come out in dreams and art and Tarot and helps us know things we didn’t know we knew (The Moon).

It goes without saying, anyway, that you should always exercise common sense and good judgement when consulting the cards. The future isn’t fixed, and all the cards can do is suggest to you the best way to proceed. The Death card may suggest that you look for alternative employment if you’re not happy in your place of work, and that you’ll find a complete change of direction. It’s not an invitation to stride into your place of work wearing a skull mask and mow your boss down with a scythe before heading off to hide out in the hills. (But, come to think of it…)

Be careful too, and if you are reading for someone else, be sensitive. Tarot can reach into some pretty dark places. I don’t believe that the Tarot is capable of exposing you to demonic influences (though grounding and shielding is always a good idea if you are going to open up your intuition) But I do believe that most of us have areas where “here be dragons,” and that if you have skeletons, demons and dragons lurking, Tarot will show you where those are. Self-care is important if you are poking around in the psyche. If you need something light and comforting sometimes better to tell the reader and the cards (or yourself) that beforehand.

Not everyone who is into Tarot even uses the cards, either! There are some really beautiful decks out there. Tarot was originally designed as a game, and some decks are games as well as divinations systems – for example, I’ve just ordered this: http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/omegaland/

It’s worth collecting Tarot cards and reading about them even if you never actually read for any reason other than just for fun.

So do you have to believe in Tarot to do Tarot? Nope. Not in the least! 🙂 It makes it more fun, more effective, and more exciting, I think, to have a little faith in the cards. I’ve certainly had some uncanny insights and experiences using them. But the most important thing of all is to be kind, be sensible, be sensitive, be responsible, and however you do Tarot, do it YOUR way. Enjoy the journey.

🙂

Happy Taroting, people. Be safe, be happy. Love and strangeness, GeekGirl Christina

Everyday Witch Tarot: A Review

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I have a confession to make… I consider myself a bit of a witch and so there was potential for me to be offended by a Tarot deck called Everyday Witch. Luckily I am almost impossible to offend and the cards are so cute you just can’t help but love them. I had my eye on them for a while but when a good friend of mine got them for her birthday, and then proceeded to send me lots of lovely pictures, I knew I just had to have them.

In terms of card stock (something I know nothing about really so am just going to get it out the way now) the cards are quite thin and very slippy. Personally I like them as they fit in my hand well and the slipperiness makes them easy to shuffle. I was worried that it would result in more cards *jumping* out when I was shuffling them but so far this hasn’t proved to be the case.

The book that comes with the deck is nice and beefy (and smells good, but that’s probably not a factor for most people) and doesn’t just give lists of keywords for each card. In fact, it doesn’t really give any keywords for each card! Instead you get a description of the card related to what it means and a “Things to consider” section. There are also sections to add your own notes but I am not convinced the shiny paper is necessarily the easiest to write on (although to be fair, I haven’t tried.)

In the Introduction to the book the author explains that the cards are based on an old retro postcard (the story is much more involved than that but you’ll have to get the deck if you want more details). I’m guessing it was something a bit like this one…

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For me personally, I find the deck very reminiscent of The Worst Witch (anyone else remember those books?)…

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Out of the whole seventy-eight cards there are really only two I am not so keen on. The Death card and The Devil card just don’t do it for me. Don’t get me wrong, I can read them fine and they are perfectly good representations of their meanings. For me they just feel *odd* and slightly out of synch with the rest of the deck. I wish I could be more specific but it is really more a feeling I get from them rather than a more concrete, explainable thing.

There are so many cards I love though, and I especially love how even some of the more *negative* cards have been given a positive spin.

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Special mention has to be given to The Hierophant in this deck (at least in my opinion). I dislike this card a lot normally and this is the first time I have come across a deck (so far) where I actually find myself not only liking, but actually loving that card. It is so simple and yet it absolutely conveys the message of the card.

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Overall I think the deck is wonderful (and no I am not being paid by anyone to say that). It is very cute but also very deep, and the cards fit so well with their original meanings. For me, Tarot is a language and I really like a deck where the author/artist has respected that language whilst putting their own spin on it. That is something I think Everyday Witch Tarot does really well.

GeekGirl Heather

xoxo

Self-Care Spread

As a relative beginner one thing I want to do more of are practice readings using lots of different spreads. Luckily for me, my Pinterest obsession means I am never short of options to try out!

There were just two things I wanted to clear up before I post my reading;

One – I am so sorry for the crappy quality of my second picture! I have no idea how it turned out so bad. I will definitely work on being a not-so-crap photographer in future. For those who can’t see it at all-

My Problem = Seven of Swords

What Do I Do Know = The Hermit

What Do I Do Later = Five of Pentacles

What Do I Need to Hear = King of Cups (am I the only one who finds court cards notoriously difficult to read? More on that another time!)

What Should I Avoid = Queen of Swords

Two – This is a sample reading for practice purposes only. It is not about anything happening in my actual life right now.

Ok, on to the reading itself…

Someone has recently lied to me or betrayed me in some way and it is playing on my mind. It has been especially hurtful because this someone I look up to and have a great deal of respect for.

For now I need to spend some time alone, surrounded by my animals, so I can take the time to meditate, contemplate and possibly engage in some spiritual activity (like Tarot reading for example). Later, if I don’t want to descend in to a pit of my own misery and despair, I need to seek out warmth and comfort from others.  I cannot do my Hermit bit for too long or I will find myself left out in the cold.

I need to remember that this person is a good, kind person. They probably had good reason to do what they did, at least in their own head, and would never have set out to deliberately cause me any hurt. I should avoid over-thinking about it or becoming withdrawn and aloof. It would be much better to work through the emotions than try to deal with it from a more logical perspective. This way I will be able to process it and move on rather than being stuck in a loop of continuous over-analysis of the situation.

So there you go, that is my take on the cards that came up. I would love to hear how others would have interpreted this reading, especially if it is completely different to mine…

GeekGirl Heather

xoxo

9 of Swords

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Everyday Witch/Robin Wood

Well isn’t this a pleasant card to draw for my second post! How do you write about the 9 of Swords without descending into a pit of doom and gloom? It is a card that appears to have nothing positive to say, and it was one of those cards that most people hope will never turn up in their readings.

The funny thing is, when it does show up in a reading you are never really that surprised to see it. Let’s face it, if you are feeling what this card is showing then you already know that’s where you are. This is not, in my opinion, a card that is talking about hidden emotions. Those emotions are out there for all to see. They are all-consuming; you cannot hide them and you cannot hide from them. You are feeling them with every fibre of your being and you are just going to have to ride them out.

But maybe it is not all bad… yes, the woman on the bed is clearly upset and worried, the bed looks basically still made suggesting a restless night with no sleep, and the floor is littered with books which speaks of an obsession over something. Looking out the window though, you can see the sun is rising, the night is over and dawn is approaching. And as the saying goes, it is always darkest just before the dawn. The card doesn’t ignore the pain and anguish you are experiencing, but it is trying to tell you that it is almost done. The worst of it will soon be over and you will be able to “face the new day” and start afresh.

So, you see, it really isn’t a completely “bad” card, but I still would prefer it if it didn’t show up in any of my readings!

On a geeky side-note, when I first drew the card I was all “yay, this is going to be so easy to link to horror in some way!” Linking it to actual films was not as easy as I expected it to be though (except for A Nightmare on Elm Street, but that’s a pretty obvious one!) What this card does represent, at least for me, is the horror genre as a whole, or, more specifically, the affect a good horror film has on the viewer. If I was going to sum up what I want from horror films in one card this would definitely be the card I would pick.

GeekGirl Heather

xoxo

The Three of Cups

 

This is one of my favourite cards in the Minor Arcana; when I draw it, I always feel like I’m going to be in for a happy, uncomplicated time. It represents friendships, creativity, celebration, joy, support, community.  Fun in the sun, good times. These are the times that you will look back on and draw strength from when you hit the 6 of cups, these are the friends that you might hope to reunite with then. This has to be one of the most feel-good cards in the Tarot.

And yet, and yet. This being Tarot, nothing is that simple. The threes in the Tarot are a number of change.  When we hit the threes, things really start happening. The threes are at the beginning of the Minor Arcana, remember, and our Fool has quite a way to go before s/he gets to the end of the journey.

Which means that the 3 of Cups can only ever be a stopping off point on the journey; but what a welcome stopping point it is! (Mostly.)  

Three is the bonding number, three inspires loyalty. You’ve heard it said that two’s company, three’s a crowd, but I beg to differ. Add a child – or a pet – to a couple, and you have a family. Three makes a team. Meeting up one on one can feel a bit pressurised if you suffer from social anxiety; what if the conversation falters, or the energy goes weird? You’ve no such worries with a group of three. You can go quiet for a while and sit back and enjoy the conversation; you can rush in and rescue each other if someone makes an unfortunate remark.

There’s something inherently pleasing about three. Three makes a rhythm, a pattern, a motif. (See what I did there?) Three is a fairytale number: the Three Little Pigs, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Three Blind Mice. Three is the Power of Three in Charmed, it’s Ron, Harry and Hermione, it’s Buffy, Willow and Xander.

Three is the Holy Trinity. It’s Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu. It’s the Triple Goddess of modern paganism, Maiden, Mother, Crone (And of course, Magrat, Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax)

There are Three Norns, the Norse spinners of men’s fates; Three Graces and Fates in Greek Mythology. (There’s also the Three Graeae, sisters who shared one eye and one tooth between them; and you thought lending out clothes was tricky.)

The Cups being the suit of emotions and relationship, then Three of Cups is about being in relationship; and it’s not, typically about being in a romantic relationship, though depending on the context it could be a lover who is your best friend and part of your social circle. Usually, it’s about being with a few trusted others with whom you feel really safe and relaxed, so close they are almost like family.

But of course, threes aren’t always the easiest number when it comes to relationships. It could literally mean a threesome, which can be good or bad depending on your tastes and the other people involved; it could be a love triangle, an affair, or playing gooseberry. It can be very painful when two members of a friendship group of three pair off, for whatever reason. If one member leaves the group to pursue their own interests, the dynamics change and the other two may or may not be able to continue on as before. When it goes wrong, the Three of Cups may feel more like the Three of Swords.

Also, if you are always out having fun with your buddies, then when is the work going to get done? If the 3 of Pentacles is the group project , the 3 of Cups can be the friends that come by calling just as you had finally got down to business. So this card can warn of overindulgence, especially if it comes paired with the Devil. Remember, there is always the hangover…

Mostly, though, this is a card to just enjoy. We are all stronger when we have our friends to lean on. When it comes up in your spread, you can probably raise a toast and relax. Not everything in Tarot has to be heavy.

🙂

Happy taroting people! Be safe, be happy. Love and strangeness, GeekGirl Christina

High Priestess

THE HIGH PRIESTESS
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High Priestess, I love you. But I don’t always know what to do with you.

There you are, pillars on either side, half-hidden Torah on your lap, crescent moon under your feet, crown of Isis and pearl of wisdom on your head, pomegranates behind you.

It’s quiet where you are, and you’re as cool and distant as the moon. I can tell from one look at you that you know your stuff. Those priest boys from the Temple of Solomon could grill you all they liked and you would come up with the goods every time; prove you’re worthy to be in their sacred space.

So why are you always associated with feelings, intuition, symbol, dreams, the “irrational”? While the Hierophant gets to be the keeper of the lore, you get to be the keeper of the mysteries? I don’t think so.

I think you know both. I think you’re a pioneer, the bringer of breakthroughs.

I think you’re what’s at the back of my mind, in my peripheral vision, on the tip of my tongue. You’re the one that holds the tension; the one that bridges the between.

And you will speak to me, if I slow down and shut up enough, if I put in the time and the patience.

I can see you, studying into the night with your candles burning down. You’re staying after hours in the laboratory because a hunch came to you, and you have to see where it goes; you’re on Google at stupid o’clock because you couldn’t sleep until you’d chased something up.

You’re binge-watching on Netflix with the dishes undone because you have to know how something pans out and it’s what you are hungry for, you can’t explain why it’s important to you or how it relates but it just is, and it does.

You’re journaling, trying to get to the bottom of the knotty problem that’s got you twisted up so much you struggle to concentrate on anything, or anyone else – you have to get it out before it fries your brain again.  Talk to you right now, and you just might bite.

You’ve got something broken, something that isn’t joining up, and you can’t see the solution yet, but you will, oh yes you will, because you always do. You have been here before and this is what you do, you find solutions.

You’re meditating, feeling the earth under you, noting the tension in your muscles, letting the sounds wash over you, the flickers of remembered light in the warm red of your closed eyes, the contradictory thoughts and emotions chasing each other, noting and letting each one go. A part of you is alert still, ready to notice something unusual and spring into action; you can’t afford to let go to that extent. The High Priestess is vigilant.

You’re not aloof, you’re not mysterious, you’re not enigmatic, you’re not Other. You’re just absorbed. You’re not wasting time. You’re busy.

You know that intuition, insight, instincts, don’t come from nowhere. The soldier’s instinct for danger comes from hours and hours of training and experience. The scientist’s genius breakthrough – even if it came in a dream like the double helix structure of DNA – comes from years of hard graft and patient experimentation, much of which leads nowhere.

You don’t get quick fixes with the High Priestess.

Her number is 2. The two’s in the Tarot have some kind of tension inherent in them, in my opinion. They are beginnings:

The 2 of Wands is poised between past and present, effort and results; sometimes it shows power struggles. The 2 of Pentacles is juggling, moving back and forth between competing material demands. The 2 of Swords can be two opposing concepts or truths, a pause in thought that can feel like stalemate or denial.The 2 of Cups? Well, to be consistent, I should say it is two emotions, two sides of the self, or two people who complement each other – or is it contradict?

(Actually, I must admit that I come over all starry-eyed and idealistic when I see this card and like it to be the “true love” card even when it doesn’t fit. It’s like those miserable souls that see The Lovers come up in your spread and talk sensibly about “choices”… Anyway. Where were we…)

The High Priestess sits between exoteric and esoteric knowledge, darkness and light, sun and moon, thought and feelings, knowledge and intuition. She knows that these are only apparent opposites. She knows if you sit and work with them long enough, they will stop cancelling each other out and you’ll find a third way through that combines the best of both.

So when she comes up in your spread, you know you can’t be rushed. You need to take whatever space you can grab to see what is going on.

She’s about honouring your feelings, your perceptions and sensations; paying attention to the irrational – your dreams, your moods, the contradictions that you sense. The High Priestess is observant.

Sometimes, she’s about danger. As Gavin de Becker points out in “The Gift of Fear”, we often pick up on discrepancies and subtle clues our conscious mind doesn’t notice, but for some reason we feel uneasy:

Ask questions about those big eyes, those big ears. Don’t stay in that run down place that gives you the creeps. For the love of God, don’t read out that mysterious Sumerian incantation. Check your car. Listen for breathing, footsteps, and unexpected drips. And – Persephone will tell you – don’t get so involved in that pretty flower you fail to notice the chariot wheels behind you. Check the small print before eating those pomegranate seeds.

Other times, our intuition is clouded by baggage, hot buttons, and desires. (Like that guy your friends warned you about, but you just knew you were destined to be together, for example.) If you have experienced trauma, you may be hyper-vigilant, sensing danger everywhere, unable to relax, always anxious and suspicious.

Maybe you learned that you have to second-guess everything, maybe you learned it’s best to keep silent, cut off your feelings and do nothing rather than risk making yourself the target of ridicule or aggression. What has the High Priestess to say to you in this case?

Here’s what your feelings are telling you then: you need to go within to find the right kind of nurture. The other cards will tell you where and how. Take time to look after yourself and hold what doesn’t feel right. Protect yourself as much as possible from negative influences. Get as protective a space as you can around you, even if that’s only a quick imaginary bubble and a few proper deep breaths.

Look at it all without judgement; you feel this and you feel that. And/and not either/or. Look at what you know; get things down to bare fact, that will help you sift through your feelings. Look at what you’re piling on top of it; do you need it? What are the voices in your head saying, are they likely, are they definite? Would you say those things to a friend? Test it against what you know, what you have experienced in the past. How is it the same? How is it different?

Little by little, clarity emerges, even if it’s clarity about what is unclear. Let that still small persistent voice show you where to look for that clarity.

Take baby steps; test your hunches. Feed your soul. Respect your limits. Take precautions. Do your research. And above all, have faith in yourself!

You can do it. You are awesome, you are wiser and deeper than you know, and out of this tension will come wonderful possibilities, or at the very least more experience and more finely honed instincts. Given enough time, you will get there.

The High Priestess says so.

🙂

Happy geeking and taroting, people. Stay safe, be happy. Love and strangeness, GeekGirl Christina